Christmas trees are supposed to be beautiful symbols of the holiday season. They're supposed to give you the warm-fuzzies and fill us all with seasonal joy. These trees ... don't quite do that.Every year there are millions of Christmas celebrations with millions of Christmas trees happening all around the world. If we learned anything in math class (cue the collective staff cringe), it was that nothing is 100%. With that many trees being put up and decorated, it's not a matter of IF any of them will be hideous, it's a matter of WHEN. Math teaches us that ugly trees are a fact. Math isn't the real hero of this story, though. That honor goes to the intrepid photographers who have the bravery and presence of mind to face down these arboreal atrocities and document them for the world to see. Join us as we honor their fearlessness by giving these trees the ceremonial side-eye.
"Art" Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, I Guess?Commenters on the original posting kept calling the tree "art".
That Poor PuppyYou know it's bad when even the dog looks like he's experiencing a whirlwind of uncertainty. Look at his face. He's clearly questioning his life's choices up to that moment. Is he the good boy? Was he ever the good boy? If he's a good boy, why would they bring this thing home? Obviously, this is punishment.
Murika!How does one even decorate this? Is it already decorated? Oh, I get it. No ornaments, just a majestic bald eagle for a tree topper, right?
Do We Call In The Authorities?What are we even looking at here? Is this a tree? Is this evidence of a crime? Is that a nativity on the floor? Did someone just shoot the garland onto this thing with a T-shirt cannon? Who took their anger out on this poor plant? What were they so angry about?
The Eyes Follow YouNope. Nope nope nope. All the nope. Nope. Nopitty nope nope.
Pez On Earth, Good Will Towards No One.Whoever owns this tree clearly loves Pez dispensers and limitless terror. Wait a minute. Is that a CLOWN DISPENSER on top?!?!?! This has to be a still from a horror flick set in the wilderness of Utah somewhere. There's no way this is real life. I quit.
It's Certainly No Rockefeller TreeSome cities have amazing trees. New York City has a tree so good that it's essentially "the" Christmas tree. Municipal trees can be breathtakingly gorgeous. This one's breathtaking for all the wrong reasons.
Project Run AwayThere have been several challenges on Project Runway that required contestants to create garments out of non-traditional materials. Some of them have been gorgeous! This tree kind of feels like that. It doesn't make any sense right away, but it helps to imagine Tim Gunn staring critically at this tree before going: "I have some concerns." It's not necessarily ugly... it's just ... OK yeah, I got nothin'.
Name That ShapeThis tree is like the Rorschach test of holiday decor. Tilt your head side to side a few times and let us know what you see. Personally, we're leaning towards a chicken wing. Not the drumstick kind, the flat kind.
A Nice Protective LayerCats. There is no way that this is not the fault of cats.
This Cost HOW MUCH!?!?Hobarts decided to forego a traditional Christmas Tree and opted for something more "modern" and "edgy" - they spent $35,000 on this.
Side Eye Intensifies
And now, to end on a high note.Bask in the glory of Godzilla!
H/T: Buzzfeed, Twitter