Stories From Homosexuals Who Were Outed Before They Were Ready To Come Out

Stories From Homosexuals Who Were Outed Before They Were Ready To Come Out



I told one of my best friends in 6th grade that I had a crush on another friend of ours. I thought I was bisexual, but I asked her not to tell. This was 1997 or so, in a fairly liberal part of the country.

She kept that part secret, but in 7th grade we had a falling out (cause we were 13-year-old girls and that shit happens) and she decided to tell everyone I was gay.

I lost literally every friend I had. The only people who would still talk to me were the ones who weren't cool enough to hear the rumor. On my birthday, when people usually decorated their friends' lockers, someone drew a hand giving the middle finger on mine. I would go home early every day, claiming I was sick. Kids would prank call my house and harass me over AIM and (showing my age) ICQ.

Things came to a head when another girl ran away from me in gym class screaming that no one wanted me to touch them. I went home that night and tried to kill myself, but I was too afraid of the pain. Instead I told my parents what was happening, sobbing the entire time.

Shockingly to my mind, they didn't care about the part where I thought I liked girls. Just the bullying.

It got better. My parents got me a therapist, I managed to build a group of nerd friends, and eventually went to a high school where only about 6 people from my middle school were there, and then to a college that no one from my state went to. Distance was the only thing I had to keep the nastiness away.

I have never dated a woman seriously. I don't tell anyone I'm bi unless we're dating and I trust them. Part of me is still scared of the social stigma. I could rebuild at 13. I don't know what I would do at 32 if I had to go through that again. It's just not worth it.




Not me, but my sister.

My sister accidentally left her email logged in on my parents computer. My mother snoops, all the time, always, so she found emails for her gf (now wife) and lost her flaming mind. She pulled her college funding, kicked her out of the house, took back the car she'd been given, and literally told people she was dead. As in "Hey how's your daughter?" "She died." She threatened to kill my now sister in law and called her "The Creature". It was bad.

The school loans were an absolute mess because my parents had cosigned the loans and then cancelled them. Luckily she was able to get funding and didn't have to miss any schooling. She's back to being the golden child in the family (largely because I'm a mess) which is as it should be. It took about 5 years or so for my parents and sister to begin speaking again. A lot of therapy for my mother. So much therapy. Once she was done therapy I told her that her therapist was transgender and she shat a brick. Probably should not have done that.

My sister and her now wife had a small commitment ceremony almost ten years ago. When civil unions were legalized, they had another small ceremony. When marriages were finally legalized federally, they had another small wedding. These all occurred on different dates, they celebrate each one.

My sister in law has been invited to family functions, but is (I think justifiably) terrified of my family after 4 years of death threats and the fact that my parents own just so so so many guns. My sister and her wife just bought a house. They're living the American Dream basically.



I got outed this summer. A girl from work found a twitter account of mine and then proceeded to out me to everyone. I should have been more careful about keeping my social media private but I didn't think that anyone would care. I work with kids and they're usually really cool about the lgbtq community! This girl is a few years older than me and apparently she does care. My life is pretty uneventful but she thought that my life is so exciting that she couldn't even sleep the night she found my account!

Not only did she out me but she did so knowing that it wasn't safe for me to be out. My school is very liberal but I live in a fairly rural area where anyone who doesn't fit into the status quo (straight white Christian) is considered rather odd. My mom is cool but my dad is very homophobic and after seeing a picture in the newspaper of two women kissing at pride threatened that if it was me or my little sister my horse would have an "accident". I mentioned this incident on twitter and apparently my coworker told everyone this too because my bosses occasionally ask if things are ok with my dad.

My bosses are wonderful people and have been nothing but supportive but it was still awkward for a while. Things have gotten back to normal for the most part though! My coworker still hates me and has made multiple fake accounts to try to add me on social media but I have people who love and support me so it's all good.




When I was about 18 my best friend and I decided to date. Our family found out and freaked out (I'm a girl). I was kicked out, but got the easy end of the stick. She got to stay, but her family made her a virtual prisoner. They took her car, and refused to give her more money than absolutely necessary. She couldn't work without her car (public transportation is terrible where we are from). She couldn't take it anymore and broke up with me. I couldn't blame her. I wish I could have taken care of her too, but I was barely surviving myself. To get the heat off she dated guys. This was really hard and it was impossible for us to be platonic friends. I felt like I could never move on from her if she was still in my life so I called her and told her I had to break it off completely. She was pissed and said I was being an asshole. Eventually I dated someone new, and she stopped trying to talk to me.

I worked full time and went to school full time. Despite my busy life I missed her so much. Every time something occurred in my life my first thought was that I wanted to tell her. In a non creepy way, I would talk to her everyday in my head. I did this for over a decade. One day I couldn't take it anymore. I wrote her a letter telling her I'm sorry and hoping to catch up. I didn't have her number anymore so a letter was the only way. I sent it to her parents' house and forgot about it. A year later I got a Facebook request from her sister. We chatted and she told me that her sister got my letter but was still angry with how I ended our friendship. She never got over it and said I broke her heart. I didn't press the issue and made plans to hang with her sister. When she got to my apartment and I opened the door, there she (my friend) was. He sister convinced her to see me. We clicked instantly and it was like she was in my life the whole time. We caught up and were once again inseparable. We were both single and quickly realized that we were still in love. It's been 3 years and she is sleeping next to me as I type. I'm currently saving up for an engagement ring and am so happy knowing that she will say yes.


COMING OUT (10/10)

In the summer after 7th grade, I had a schoolmate over for a slumber party. She thought it would be fun to hear some entries from my diary at the time. We had gotten so close over the past two years at school that I didn't think she'd be opposed to me being bisexual. Well, when we finally got to 8th grade, a lot of my friends were acting really weird around me and classmates I didn't even speak to were always whispering when I was around. Finally someone told me what people were saying and I knew it was her cause at the time only her, my best friend, my cousins & my mom knew. I'm assuming I was the first gay person that most of them had ever known or heard of. Kids stopped talking to me, wouldn't hang out at recess, made fun of me in class, and we're just awful all around for no reason. My best friend was the only person who would be seen with me. She didn't even care that people started rumors that we were dating. Those rumors didn't die till we went to separate high schools.

It was really hard for me. I was too young to be experiencing the isolation, bullying, and depression that I was. I spiraled downward and started self harming. I attempted suicide a couple times over the next couple years, but around age 16 when I was finally out of that environment and surrounded by much better people, I was finally able to begin to love myself again.

My then best friend is still my best friend and we recently went to a quasi reunion with those classmates over the holidays together. She texted me to ask if I would "be her date." She said that Facebook ruined our chances of fooling everyone into thinking that we were now married, just to spite them for all the nasty things that they said back then. She's the reason I made it out of it alive!

TLDR; was outed in 8th grade, became the class pariah for a couple years. Got depressed, self harmful, and suicidal. Finally got over it in 11th grade at a new school with better friends. My bff since 4th grade held it down for me throughout it all too. I'm all good now! :)



H/T: Ask Reddit

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