These Characters In Movies Should Be Dead

These Characters In Movies Should Be Dead

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Ah, the magic of the cinema. We go to the movies to escape reality. Some of the most successful movies feature characters who can apparently defy the laws of science. But what if we held up these characters to scientific reality? Well, then most of them would be dead and the story would have ended very quickly. Check out our list below of some of the most fantastical movie situations where the characters would have died from science.

Interstellar's Cooper Would Have Been Incinerated From The Black Hole

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In the climax of the Christopher Nolan-directed sci-fi blockbuster hit, Interstellar, Joe Cooper hurls himself into a black hole to collect some data information about gravity that he transports to his daughter on earth via time-traveling bookshelf. The plan worked and the only side effect was Cooper not aging from his entire space ordeal. But if we were to take the laws of physics into account, Joe would never have made it into the black hole. According to science, a black hole is surrounded by an accretion disk which is a swirling collection of plasma and gas with a temperature of 65,000 degrees Kelvin. Converted, that is 116,540 degrees Fahrenheit! Basically the black hole was a spinning vortex of extremely HOT gravity and our hero would have been instantly flash burned to a crisp upon contact. But then, he wouldn't have been able to contact his daughter and save human civilization and do that nifty bookshelf trick and we would have had a pretty bleak ending to an awesome sci-fi flick.

Pinocchio's Proboscis Would Have Snapped His Head Off

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We all know the classic tale of Disney's Pinocchio. It's the story of a little wooden doll that comes to life so that toymaker Geppetto can have a son. Pinocchio is brought to life by the Blue Fairy and sets out on a hero's journey, only to be cursed with a growing nose whenever he lies or does misdeeds. Whether he is wooden or a real boy, that increasingly long nose would have eventually broken Pinocchio's poor neck right off. According to the laws of physics, Pinocchio could have lied 13 times before his neck could no longer sustain the weight of his head and nose. After those 13 lies, the overall centre of mass of Pinocchio's head would have shifted over 85 meters and the overall length of his fibbing nose would have been 208 meters. Basically, the neck can only sustain a certain amount of weight before it buckles under pressure. We can't say if Pinocchio would have actually died since he is a magical puppet after all. But we can agree, however, that Geppetto would have ended up with a headless mythomaniac toy doll for a son.

Luke Skywalker Would Probably Still Have Died Inside The Tauntaun At The Beginning of The Empire Strikes Back

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One of the most grotesquely memorable scenes of The Empire Strikes Back in the original Star Wars trilogy was when Han Solo rescues a half-frozen Luke Skywalker from death. He slices open the dead carcass of a large horse-like creature called a Tantaun and stuffs Luke inside for warmth and protection. How plausible is this scenario? Can jumping inside a dead animal actually keep you warm? Scientific examination would declare a resounding NO. First, Luke Skywalker would probably have already frozen to death in the time it took Han Solo to make the carcass shelter. We don't know for sure if the Tauntaun died from exhaustion, hypothermia or both. But if hypothermia, then Luke too would probably have died shortly after the animal. But for now, let's say the Tauntaun died of exhaustion, just so we can follow this scientific theory further. Using Newton's Law of Cooling, the Tauntaun body would have actually been a deathtrap for our hero. If even the slightest bit of the inside of the Tauntaun was exposed to the extremely cold elements of the icy planet, than the entire inside of the animal would have also frozen. Essentially, Luke would have been sealed inside a frozen carcass and his body frozen along with it. Even if Han had stuffed Luke in securely, if he slightest bit of bodily liquid reached Luke's face, it would have frozen over, sealed his mouth shut and suffocated him. Basically, any scenario here results in our hero dying and the Star Wars franchise would have needed a new chosen lead protagonist.

A Uranium Shell Would Have Killed James Bond Before The Opening Credits Of Skyfall

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In the opening scene of Skyfall, James Bond fights a villain on top of a moving train. The villain proceeds to shoot Bond in the shoulder with a uranium bullet. If that wasn't bad enough, Bond's partner accidentally shoots him in the chest with a sniper rifle, causing our hero to fall off the train into the water below. But of course, this is James Bond we are talking about, and he survives the entire ordeal, so the movie can now begin. There are several reasons why science calls "shenanigans" on our favorite British secret agent surviving this whole encounter. There is zero-chance that James Bond could have walked away unscathed after taking a uranium bullet to his body. Medical professionals have concluded that if Bond were to have been shot by a depleted uranium shell, it would have taken only seven minutes for his lungs to have turned inside out. Even if Bond's Lazarus-like abilities could have survived that, the uranium would greatly increase his cancer risk, so--despite undergoing intense treatment--he would have died from the cancer anyways. Let's not forget that fall from the train. The force of the fall probably would have already snapped Bond's neck. But of course, if James Bond had died before the credits even rolled for Skyfall, then we wouldn't have had the pleasure of experiencing a very creepy Benicio del Toro as the movie's main baddie.

Anytime The Flash Saved Someone, It Would Have Been Like Getting Hit By A Speeding Car

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Barry Allen, also known as DC Comics superhero The Flash, gets his name from his lightning fast super speed. Whenever someone is in danger, the Flash zips on in and scoops them up to safety. However, the scientific reality of Barry Allen's superpower is that it would cause way more harm than good. When using his superpower, the Flash moves at an average of 182 miles per hour, which is not a safe speed for a human being to collide with another object. According to physics, being saved by the Flash would be in fact more damaging than being hit by a speeding car. Barry Allen running at his top speed and rescuing an innocent bystander is the equivalent of that bystander being pummeled six times the amount of velocity pressure. The Flash's heroic efforts would unfortunately leave a trail of paralyzed or dead people in his path.

 The Wet Bandits Would Have Been Severely Killed Many Times Over From Kevin's Booby Traps in Home Alone

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Everyone's favorite holiday movie, Home Alone, is about an "innocent" young boy who is left home by accident during Christmas and has to defend his home from robbers. Using his ingenuity, Kevin McCallister wards off the villainous Wet Bandits with a series of hilarious homemade traps that keeps the home audience in side-splitting laughter and the armed robbers in a whole mess of pain. But in reality, science says that any one of those traps that Kevin made would have gruesomely killed the dimwitted burglars several times over. According to Dr. Ryan St. Clair, if Harry and/or Marv were hit by a ten pound paint can from fifteen feet away, they would have had several broken face bones, been missing many teeth, and ended up with a fractured orbital socket- meaning their eyes would have burst out of their heads. Even if the burglars survived that, it pales in comparison to Kevin's next trap: a blowtorch to the head. The makeshift fire trap spit out flames of at least 3,000 degrees Fahrenheit. That's enough to not only burn away Joe Pesci's scalp, but his entire skull would have become necrotic. And speaking of fire, remember that glowing red doorknob? Dr. St. Clair tells us that for the doorknob to glow that bright, it would need to be heated to 751 degrees Fahrenheit. It only takes about one second for 155 degree temperature water to cause third degree burns. So if either of the armed burglars had touched that doorknob, their hand should have burst into flames. And that was only three of the multiple booby traps set by Kevin in Home Alone that the Wet Bandits miraculously survived. Reality tells us that any one of those insane traps would have already put an end to our stupid villains. But if the Wet Bandits had died, we would not have been treated to the far superior Christmas sequel where we get to enjoy Kevin harming the robbers all over New York City. Seriously, how did those burglars survive two movies?!
  H/T- CRACKED

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