Here's Why You Could Never Become Batman

Here's Why You Could Never Become Batman


When it comes to superheroes, my favorite has always been the Batman. I love how dark and broody he is. His movies (most of them, at least) are my favorite, as well.

Source: YouTube

Imagine my excitement when I saw that the Cracked channel on YouTube had just released their newest video: "So You Want To Be BATMAN"!

The video promptly went viral, as it should, because who doesn't want to figure out how they, too, can become Batman? I sure do. That'd be pretty damn awesome.

So I sat down and hit play on the eight-minute video, note pad in hand. I was ready to learn. I was ready to study. I was ready to channel my inner Bruce Wayne.

Source: YouTube

Now, I ask you to further imagine my disappointment when I learned just how much work goes into becoming the Batman.

Clearly, I had been spending most of my time fantasizing about the present life of Batman. The life where he runs around the city kicking the butts of bad guys while living in spoiled solitude with his wealth and emotional damage from the untimely loss of his parents.

It turns out that there is a lot of work, studying, and world traveling that one must first do to become Batman. I hadn't planned on that, and, if it is truly required, I may now be too old to become Batman.

Additionally, there is the the relative strain and danger that comes from being Batman that I hadn't really considered, either.

Source: YouTube

And don't even get me started on the subject of rich, dead parents. While one of my parents is dead, neither were rich enough to leave to me untold millions and my own future tech company from which I could plumb its various winding catacombs in search of weaponized science things for use in extracting justice from Gotham city.

And I'm only scraping the very surface of just how hard it actually is to become Batman. There's even more that stands in our ways, friends.

Ready to learn what all it would take? Click to the next page!

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