Some people believe that dating in the modern world is a minefield. However, although the dating scene has undergone some revolutionary changes in the 21st century, it’s arguably more fun than ever to date in the modern world; particularly since the rise of online dating and smartphones.

In his excellent book Modern Romance: An Investigation, American comic and actor Aziz Ansari outlines what he believes are the difficulties associated with dating in the 21st century. But, although the transformation of our romantic lives may seem daunting at first glance, the process is actually thrilling and enjoyable; particularly online. For example, research shows that:

  • 48% of Americans aged 18-29 have used a dating site or app, compared with 19% of those aged 50-64.
  • The majority of online daters say it was at least ‘somewhat easy’ to find compatible partners.
  • 57% of online daters say they have had a positive experience with dating platforms/sites.

With this in mind, let’s take a definitive look at the current state of play in 21st-century dating, including where we date, who we date, how we communicate and how we plan for success.


Modern Romances Have Wider Search Areas

Nowadays, we have more romantic options than at any other point in human history. Historically speaking, many people simply used to date people from their block, neighborhood or town, where they’d grow up and stay.

However, in our increasingly globalized and inter-connected world, we’re all traveling further than ever in search of work and love; particularly Millennials and Generation Z members of society who are drawn to big cities like New York and LA.

In addition, we can now apply search radiuses to our apps that allow us to find people wherever we happen to be that night. With over 30 million Americans using a dating app in 2019, there’s more possibility than ever for us to find our perfect partner, regardless of whether they’re in the same bar as us or 5o miles away.

The opportunities are almost endless, and the greater choice means a much better chance of finding ‘the one’.

Plus, thanks to the rise of smartphones, everyone’s in our pocket. So, there’s no need to ask friends and family members for recommendations like in the olden days.

Modern Society Provides More Opportunities for Fun, Unique Dates

Dinner and a movie used to be a classic dating option for our parents. However, times have changed. Now, a date can be almost anything you’d like it to be.

This often includes entirely new concepts like group dates, where people meet with friends to make the whole process less intimidating and safer.

Today, dates ideas include going for brunch, meeting for drinks in a bar, or even ‘Netflix and chill’. Plus, in the past few years, we’ve also seen the rise of virtual dating. As neither party has to leave their own home, dating via video chat is a safe, affordable way to date.

Plus, if you follow all the tips, you can have an evening of safe, flirtatious fun without spending a penny.

Texting in the Modern World Means Dating Lingo Has Changed

Do you know your ‘Jekylling’ from your ‘Rossing’ or ‘Fleabagging’? If not, it’s time to research the lingo before you start dating.

Like all aspects of the modern world, the way we communicate with each other is changing; particularly because it’s now much more common to IM someone or text them than speak to them over the phone.

If you don’t know what you’re talking about, someone may end up ‘Ghosting’ you. By learning the lingo, you have a greater chance of success.

Social Media Allows Us to Research Our Dates

Whether we meet someone in a bar, see them at work or connect with them via an app, the invention of smartphones and social media now means that the vast majority of us ‘Facebook stalk’ a potential date before we go out with them.

This allows us to learn more about them and search for any potential ‘red flags’.

But, even though social media allows us to research any future dates and potentially assess compatibility even further by seeing their friends, photos, political views and hobbies, it can also take the fun out of dating.

After all, if you’ve scanned their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social channels already, you’ll skip a lot of the discovery phase. So, do your due diligence on your date, but make sure you leave plenty to discover when you actually meet them.

It’s far more romantic this way and you’ll improve your chances of establishing a deep bond.

In summary, the way we date in the 21st century has changed, but this is largely for the better. For example, we now have millions of (potentially) compatible singles in our pockets everywhere we go.

Plus, because the way we date is changing, we also have plenty of great, fun options for our dates and the sky is the limit on what we can do.

Finally, because we can research our potential dates, it’s also arguably safer than ever before and easier to find someone compatible before taking the plunge.

Looking to the future, the social taboos around dating online are likely to lessen even further and the smartphone and virtual dating technology we use will only improve.

As more and more Americans go online in the search for love, it’ll only get easier to find our soulmates. Let’s hope Cupid is looking out for you!

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