Confession: I was a very unpopular kid. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to make and/or keep friends, no matter what I did.
I'll further admit that I didn't really begin to gather a group of people I would call friends until the past few years. And all the while, I blamed myself. Why did I feel like people I tried to grow into my "friends" just weren't actually my friends?
What was I doing wrong? Was I broken? Was I mistaken? Was I unloveable?
As has been the case the past few weeks since I discovered them, the YouTube channel The School Of Life has given me an answer that makes so much sense. It has put my mind at ease. And it's something I can begin to consider as I continue my quest to find friends that I will walk alongside as the years pass.
Here's the thing: the video explaining The Purpose Of Friendship might ruffle a few feathers on folks who view it. Because it tackles the concept and reasons for friendship in what seems like a very selfish way: it asks us to discover the outcome of the friendships we keep.
The narrator posits that every friendship we nurture needs to have a purpose. We need to be getting something out of it. And yeah, that sounds pretty self-involved, doesn't it?
I would argue: not so. Because, in friendships, I've always been one to give. I share freely, give of my time and resources, and lend an ear at any given moment. The thing is: I would just give, and never took stock of whether I was receiving anything in return.
And now that I'm looking back at my previous attempts at friendships, I've realized: I was trying to force pieces to work where they were not meant to work. I was giving and giving and getting nothing in return, which explains the emptiness I felt in my pursuits.
This has also further solidified my feelings about the friendships I currently have: I can see what I am for my friends, and I can see what they are for me. I'm on the right path, and I now have an even clearer path forward.
Are you ready to learn about the four main purposes of friendships? Head over to the next page!