"Please, we're not amateurs."
There are few pleasures in life better than a nice cool drink in a warm shower. If that drink just happens to be a beer, that's even better! The shower beer is a sacred and well-loved tradition. Writers chronicle the joys of shower beer. Practitioners of the high art of the shower beer share their tales with one another. Long story short, shower beer is an ultimate good.
PangPang Brewery, based in Sweden, has come up with a brew they think is perfect for enjoying in the shower. The half-sized, double-strength, brew is designed to be "small enough to keep its temperature during the shower, and strong enough to mentally wash your workday off and get ready for a fresh night out."
The brewery opted to let the beer ferment for longer than normal. Founder Fredrik Tunedal says the extra fermentation time lets it develop a soapy flavour.
So when it mixes with your bodywash you won't notice?
Tunedal is a bit of an evil genius, though. Shower Beer wasn't designed just to be great for drinking in the shower, it's also meant to be used to condition hair. Yeah, I said conditioner. Beer has long been rumored to add body and shine to your hair. Catherine Zeta Jones has been washing her hair with it for years. Have you seen her hair?
It's the stuff my windswept, beer-fueled dreams are made of
So, we've got a beer that's twice as strong as a normal brew, is meant to be great for your tastebuds and your hair and "is freaking precious." This is the pinnacle of beer perfection, right?
Not so fast.
Turns out, not everyone is impressed. GQ writer Kevin Nguyen called Shower Beer "stupid as hell" and has some interesting points to support that eloquent and finely-worded opinion.
Point one: The bottles are glass. Glass bottles plus soap, water and alcohol almost certainly equal no bueno.
Point two: They're double the strength of a regular beer, but they're also half the size. This would be a non-issue for me since I'm a 4'10 hobbit, but for a normal sized human being, I could see how six ounces feels almost like an insult.
"Aww, it looks so cute and little in your hand!" - we totally meant that as a compliment.
Finally, and maybe most importantly, it feels overthought. To quote Kevin, "please, we're not amateurs."
Shower beers are supposed to be a simple pleasure, not something you have to turn to a microbrewery on the other side of the world for. Do we really need an official Shower Beer with a hashtag printed on the bottle? I'd like to think we live in a world where all beers can be shower beers.