Seriously... people say some weird stuff when they're sleeping.
Don't believe me? Let these people convince you.
WEIRD SLEEP (1/12)
My partner held a full conversation with me about anal sex while he was as(s)leep, including the choice quote: "I don't want to prolapse your anus. I've seen too many of those."
WEIRD SLEEP (2/12)
My fiance yelled out "Yeah well at least I'm not a 90's game console!"
I laughed so loud it woke him up hahaha.
WEIRD SLEEP (3/12)
I got up to piss, my then girlfriend said "are you going to fight the battle now?". She was still asleep.
WEIRD SLEEP (4/12)
My college roommate would always sleep talk. His best was when he was screaming, "FUCK YOU", followed by "Of course Ohio is a state Cheryl". He didn't know anyone named Cheryl.
WEIRD SLEEP (5/12)
Not funny but very sweet. My husband lost his dad when he was ten. We had traveled to a football with tons of friends and all crammed into a rented house together. My friend who had lost her husband at 27 was sleeping with us in a king bed...nothing kinky, just drunk making use of space. My husband is sound asleep and starts telling his dad all about how fun the day was and how much fun his brother had. At the end he said, "Wait dad...one more thing. I love ya. Okay, I know you have to go...bye." It was cool that our friend was there too as she understood loss in a similar way.
WEIRD SLEEP (6/12)
My wife and I had been dating for about a year when I took off my tee shirt and offered it to her as armor. Apparently, I told her that "the land is rife with beasts." I woke up shirtless, so I believe her.
I also apparently said "bitches and beeves" with no context.