Do you resent the commercialism of Valentine's Day but still want to represent to your boo? Go no further than these anti-Valentine cards to relay your sentiments with sass.
1. For this day and age, this is muy importante.
Don't be turning on no Alien vs. Predator when we get home from a date, mmm-kay?
(What? That never happened to me before. I don't know what you're... OH, LOOK A UFO!)
2. Just the most romantic of pillow talk...
3. Talk about an aphrodisiac!
That said, the little skeleton is actually pretty cute. Even though the existing heart makes zero sense.
4. For the music lover with a good sense of humor.
5. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call "tough love."
6. If you give this to your enemy, carry on. If you give this to a friend, you'd better send a bottle of wine with it or... you just gave it to an enemy.
7. You may scoff, but to a New Yorker, this is basically a marriage proposal.
8. While this is a very valid source of appreciation for some in relationships...
Can we talk about this soft-serve dukey?? I think someone needs some heartier fiber in their diet...
9. Well, self-awareness is important in relationships, and I guess if you already know you're annoying as shit, then bingo, this card is pour vous.
10. A Valentine's Day example of counting your blessings.
11. At first, I thought that this was a reference to Shakespeare's Portia from The Merchant of Venice, but this is way cuter and easier to understand.
12. Another one for the person who may not have a person: I mean, the day after Valentine's Day and Halloween are basically honorary holidays for this very reason.
13. I like to think that this is the product of the bro-est of the bros taking a card-making class at his girlfriend's behest to express his feelings better to her.
At least he tried, so she
tries not to visibly cringe and eventually finds it bizarrely endearing.
14. For those who just say it as it is.
Again with the soft serve...
15. Thank you...?
16. The unspoken post script of this card is, "As long as you never dutch oven me because then I'll punch you in the nuts".
17. It's like Mad-Libs! Fill in the blanks to learn what the other person was actually thinking.
But the important part is that they are there thinking about something else while looking you in the eyes and nodding emphatically. And ideally also refilling your wine glass.
18. Now, if that's not a compliment and the most earnest profession of love in the 21st century, I don't know what is.
19. A beautifully simple way of embodying how much another person can frustrate the HELL out of you and yet... #UnconditionalLove
Let's also give a hand (or a tweet) to the amazing and hilarious Julie Ann
, the artist behind many of these fantastic cards.
20. Happy Anti-Valentine's Day to all my soulmates!